Back to school will be in full swing in just two weeks. My daughter is starting high school this year, which means I’m about to enter the time warp blink that is her adolescence. Not sure how ready I am for this…
This time of year can be stress inducing for many people. Although, I also know plenty of mamas who embrace back to school after the chaos and demands of summer vacation 😉
Demands are never ending. I think the word for it is ‘life’. Whether it’s the start of school, the holidays, the new year, taxes, weddings, babies being born, buying homes (yikes), or just managing a summer with your kids/work/partner… These demands can be cumulative and stressful if they outweigh the resources you possess to manage them.
Since we all know that demands will be there no matter what, it’s helpful to focus some of your back to school efforts in building your resources. By doing this, you effectively make yourself more resilient and stress-flexible.
Sounds great in theory, but where should you start? The Spheres of Control may be helpful. It visually guides you through sorting out what’s in your control and where you might need to ask for help. Because you’re laying it all out, it gives you the opportunity to make a plan, give yourself options, and at the very least – wrap your head around the possibility of not being in control of a situation and working towards being ok with that… Here’s what it may look like:
Click here for a blank PDF version of the Spheres of Control for you to fill out. Then make a list of where you may need help, what your options are, and where you may be able to help someone else. Like we often say – it takes a village.
While on the subject of helping someone else, you must learn to set your boundaries. There is no reward for being the busiest, most stressed out, always saying yes to everyone – parent. You run a major risk of offering an inch and being taken for a mile. Learn to say no – or as my mother-in-law taught me, say “I couldn’t possibly”… No one will argue with that 😉
So let’s talk about resources. These will vary depending on your needs, but here are some simple brain joggers to help you dig deeper into your community and find what you need.
| Health & Wellness | Nutrition | Home |
| Boutique Fitness 🙂 Mobility Videos at home Bedtime Ritual Morning Routine 10 Minute Walks Time for PLAY 10 minutes of rest mid-day | Meal Prep Day Grocery Delivery or Pickup Meal Prep Delivery Healthy Meal Delivery or Pickup: Healthy Bites Plan It Eats | Hire someone to clean Keep a family schedule Make a list of people you can call in a pinch. Make a car pool schedule Don’t do for your kids what they can do for themselves. |
I know some of these may seem like nice-to-haves, so let me break it down so that maybe it sinks in.
Your workouts are important. So important, in fact, that packing what you need into 30 minutes has been vital for your survival. We don’t mess around at BF. All you have to do is show up and know that you did the one thing that will give you superpowers to be the parent, teacher, partner that you know you can be. Our website also offers videos you can do at home for mobility – because motion is lotion! If you don’t want your joints to get old, you need to give them motion.
Start your day and wrap up your evening with a solid routine. We function on a rhythm that follows the lead of the sun… and so should you. It doesn’t have to be super elaborate, just make it consistent. No matter what.
10 minutes throughout the day for walks and rest could be the secret sauce you’ve been looking for. Walking is incredibly therapeutic. So if your day is off the rails, take 10 and walk. If your brain is fried from your workday, take 10 and just close your eyes and relax your jaw. Find 10 and take it.
PLAY!! What do you do for play? Something that’s fun and not stressful. I don’t mean going out for dinner, I mean feeling like a kid again. Seek out fun things to do and go play!! You are not too old nor too busy for this, so please stop thinking that.
Meal services may seem like a luxury, but if you consider how much you spend on groceries that you don’t have time to prepare, it may actually save you money. Do you know how much you spend on takeout?
If you find time to cook, meal prep services like Hello Fresh can help by eliminating another decision you have to make and then giving you just what you need for your meals – saving you time and effort. I tend to subscribe to something like this for the fall and into the winter. It takes one more thing off my plate and helps keep my family well fed 🙂
Hiring someone to clean the essentials at my house has been such a life saver for me. Bathrooms and kitchen – that’s all I need help with. While I greatly appreciate the help, my cleaning person appreciates the work 🙂
Make a list of your people and include ways you could use their help. You’ll have your school pickup people, those who can give you a ride when your car is in the shop, your workout buddy, maybe a meal train where you all make a big dish and share the portions… Depending on your sphere of control, you can decide who you may need to reach out to and include in your resources.
Probably the most difficult thing to do as a parent – Don’t do for your kids what they can do for themselves. You’re not helping them and you’re certainly not helping yourself.
It comes down to being stress-flexible, rather than the martyr. Know what you can control and what you can’t. Know your options and ask for help. Learn to say no and please remember to take time for yourself… You can always make time to shine, and only when you shine can you shed light on those around you.
